Jesus is watching you

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house.
He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!"
He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything.
So he starts creeping across the lawn again.
"Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again.
So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house.
He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did."
So the burglar asks, "What's your name?" The parrot says "Clarence."
The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says, "The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "

Kuroro Lucifer (HXH)

Kuroro Lucifer from the anime Hunter X Hunter.
Kuroro Lucifer is the founder and leader of the infamous Spiders "Genei Ryoden"

Kekaguman Seorang Suami

Suatu malam Nia terbangun dan melihat suaminya
sedang berdiri di sisi Boks bayi mereka.
Nia belum pernah melihat ekspresi wajah suaminya
seperti itu sebelumnya.
Kadang-kadang tersenyum sambil
menggelengkan-gelengkan kepala, tampak kagum...,
lalu seperti terharu, terus menarik nafas panjang
dan seterusnya.
Diam-diam air mata menetes di kedua mata Nia.
Ia tak menyangka suaminya akan mengagumi bayi mereka
seperti itu.
Nia menghampiri suaminya, memeluknya dan setengah
memancing bertanya,
"Mas, apa sih yang Mas pikirkan?"
"Ini, aku benar-benar nggak habis pikir, boks
seperti ini aja kok ya harganya sampai tiga juta."

PIKUN

Sepasang kakek dan nenek yang akhir-akhir ini terlalu
sering menjadi lupa akan segala sesuatu hal, akhirnya
memutuskan untuk pergi ke dokter dan memeriksakan
kesehatan mereka. Dokter mengatakan bahwa secara fisik
mereka sehat-sehat saja. Dokter menyarankan agar mereka
mulai membiasakan diri untuk menulis hal-hal apa saja
untuk membantu mereka mengingat segala sesuatu sekecil
apapun itu.

Suatu malam
kedua kakek dan nenek tersebut sedang bersantai menonton TV.

Tiba-tiba sang kakek berdiri,
Nenek : "Mau kemana?"
Kakek : "Oh aku mau ke dapur sebentar untuk mengambil
segelas air"
Nenek : "Kalau begitu sekalian tolong bawakan aku es
krim vanila"
Kakek : "OK .."
Nenek : "Eh tunggu sebentar, apakah tidak sebaiknya
kamu tulis pesananku itu supaya kamu tidak lupa?"
Kakek : "Ah tidak perlu, aku ingat kok ... es krim
vanila kan?"
Nenek : "Kalau begitu sekalian tambahkan strawberry
dan krimnya"
Kakek : "Beres .. !!"
Nenek : "Ah sebaiknya kamu tulis semua pesananku
itu, nanti pasti kamu lupa semuanya"
Kakek : "Jangan khawatir aku masih ingat kok, es
krim vanila, strawberry dan krimnya bukan?"

Dua puluh menit kemudian sang kakek datang dan
memberikan kepada nenek sepiring daging dan
beberapa butir telur rebus.
Nenek : (Dengan wajah cemberut) "Nah, apa kataku,
kamu lupa kan pesananku ... makanya ditulis dulu"
Kakek : "Lho memangnya kamu tadi pesan apa sih?"
Nenek : (Dengan wajah yang masih cemberut) "Roti
bakar isi strawberry."

"Ruang ber AC"

Seorang karyawan mendapatkan fasilitas kerja yang hebat sekali.
Dia memiliki sebuah ruang dengan AC, telepon, televisi, internet,
dan tentu saja PC Pentium 4 yang canggih.

Suatu ketika di mengetik sebuah laporan.
Tiba-tiba saja bosnya masuk dengan marah-marah.

Bos : "Hei! Kamu menulis dengan WordStar ya? Dasar Bodoh! Sekarang itu
sudah tahun 2002!! Harusnya kamu bisa menulis dengan Microsoft Word!!"
Karyawan : "Habis ini ruang ber-AC sih!"
Bos : "Apa hubungannya dengan hal itu? Jangan cari-cari alasan!!"
Karyawan : "Bos lihat saja sendiri ke AC itu!"

Bos itu lalu melihat ke AC dan ada tulisan :
"...AIR CONDITIONED ROOM, DO NOT OPEN WINDOWS!!"

Karyawan : "Kalo buka Windows saja tidak boleh bagaimana
mau buka Microsoft Word!!!!"

Yondaime - Hokage 4 Konoha Gakure

The Fourth Hokage and also known as Konoha's "Yellow Flash" with his blonde, spikey hair. Yondaime is alluded to be the greatest ninja that Konoha has ever produced. Yondaime was a respected and popular Hokage and is also seen to have a gentle and wise spirit.
Yondaime was mentored by Jiraiya, one of the Legendary Sannin, along with the two teammates who have yet to be named. After becoming a Jounin, Yondaime became sensei for a team consisting of Kakashi, Obito, and Rin. Yondaime is feared by the opposition in battle and, during war time, ninjas are told to "flee on sight" if they're ever misfortunate enough to meet the "Yellow Flash."
Not much else is known about him, other than the fact that he saved Konoha from the Nine-Tails Fox thirteen years ago. In order to do this, Yondaime was forced to sacrifice himself using the Demonic Soul Seal technique, and he then sealed the Kyubi's soul into Naruto. It is not known how Yondaime sealed the Kyubi in Naruto, and it is also unknown how Yondaime and Naruto are connected, whether it be family or otherwise.
Not much has been seen of Yondaime in battle. The one technique that was seen, the Body Flicker Technique, consists of placing a seal or marker onto an opponent. This allows Yondaime to instantaneously move from his spot to behind his opponent, literally in a "flash." Although no one has Yondaime use it, it is also known that it took him three years to develop and perfect the Rasengan. Through the battles that we have seen though, we gather that he is an immensely powerful as he approaches incredible odds and dispatches them to the amazement of his comrades. He strikes fear into his opponents with his speed.
His strength though is matched with his desire for the village and the people in it. When he is tutoring Kakashi's team, he is gentle yet firm with them even when they disobey his orders. He attempts to reconcile differences and make peace within his team so that they will be able to act with unity and not divisiveness. And eventually he does make the ultimate sacrifice with for his village in using the technique that demands his own life. So he like his predecessor sacrifice their life for the protection of the village.